As a therapist, I’ve spent years listening to stories. Over the evolution of my practice, I’ve learned that there are two kinds of narratives: the stories we tell others and the stories we tell ourselves.

In the world of trauma, these internal stories often become a barrier to recognizing our most basic needs.

The word “trauma” has become a bit of a buzzword lately, and its meaning can shift depending on the generation or background you identify with. For some, trauma might be described as a harrowing birth experience where the baby spent days in the NICU.

For others, in a moment of extreme stress, it might feel as minor as a cup of coffee spilling on a keyboard.

But what is it, really?

Defining the Indefinable

In a therapeutic sense, trauma is an emotional and psychological response to an overwhelmingly distressing event—or series of events—that shatters a person’s sense of safety.

It exceeds our ordinary capacity to cope and leaves lasting imprints on our mental health, physiological regulation, and daily functioning.

Whether an event “counts” as trauma is often in the eye of the beholder. As humans, we are frequently unable to define trauma for ourselves while we are in the thick of it. We tend to verbalize our experiences on a spectrum: from a dismissive “well, that happens, gotta move on” to an overwhelmed “that was the worst thing ever.”

The “Eye of the Beholder” Trap

Because trauma is so subjective, many people inadvertently disqualify their own pain. If you tell yourself the story that your experience “wasn’t that bad” compared to someone else’s, you may stop yourself from getting the care you actually need.

This minimization is a survival tactic.

For high-achieving professionals and mothers, the “just gotta move on” mentality is often praised as resilience. But when we ignore the impact of a distressing event, we also lose the ability to recognize our own needs. We become chronically stimulated but emotionally undernourished, living in a state of constant alertness that mimics a trauma response without even realizing why we feel so exhausted.

Moving Beyond the Story

If you find yourself constantly rehearsing conversations in your head or feeling stuck in “survival mode” long after the danger has passed, you might be carrying the invisible weight of an unprocessed event.

At Be Well Therapy Collective, we specialize in helping you dismantle the stories that keep you from your own well-being. We understand that trauma isn’t just about what happened; it’s about how your nervous system is responding to the world today.

Finding Safety and Stillness

We offer evidence-based interventions like EMDR and Trauma-Focused therapy to help you find the stillness and safety needed to truly start living again. Whether you are navigating maternal mental health challenges, the pressures of a high-stakes career, or the residual “brain fog” of recent years, we are here to help you move past the confusion.

We currently have immediate openings for virtual therapy appointments in California and Arizona.

Our Insurance & Rates:

• In-Network (CA): UnitedHealthcare (UHC), Aetna, and Optum.
• In-Network (AZ): Aetna, Cigna, Evernorth.
• Private Pay: $175 for individuals / $225 for couples.
• Out-of-Network: We can provide superbills for reimbursement.

Take the first step toward reducing your emotional load and recognizing your needs again. Book a Consultation