I forgot what I was going to say. Does that happen to you now?
Well, let’s face it, I’m a mom, so it always did, but now I feel like it’s ALL. THE. TIME.
For example, yesterday I had this thought: “My kids are finally settled into their routine here in Arizona. We’ve been here for five years now.” And I said to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just breathe for a second? Just one season without a new headline to track?” I never got that chance.
Between the residual “pandemic brain” and the current news cycle, I feel like I’m constantly waiting for a phone call I didn’t prepare for.
The time we are living in is hard, y’all. Speaking of “y’all,” I’ve started picking up lingo from all the late-night binge-watching I still do—a leftover maladaptive coping skill from the lockdown days.
For a week, I sounded like I was a Duchess. Now, I just sound like a woman who spends too much time researching “Hantavirus symptoms” at 2:00 AM.
After much deliberation, we moved our family from Philadelphia to Los Angeles, and eventually here to the desert to be closer to family. We thought the “big move” was the hurdle. But being a mom in a climate where we are now hearing about Hantavirus and other environmental risks feels like another level of “no clue about the future.” It makes me wonder: Does this new fear feel ‘the same, or different’ compared to the original pandemic trauma?
At any moment, I feel like I could get a call about a new exposure or a school closure. And as the mom of two, now aged 7 and 10, whose spouse still works on the front lines of healthcare for 80 hours a week, I am the fall back. I am the fall EVERYTHING—the wearer of all the hats.
As a psychotherapist with my own practice, Be Well Therapy Collective, I remember how hard it once was to explain to a client why my child needed his butt wiped during a virtual session. I’m not being facetious; that really happened years ago. Now that my children are 7 and 10, the challenges have shifted. We specialize in maternal mental health and trauma, and honestly, sometimes the current trauma is just trying to maintain a professional identity while the world outside (and the rodents in the garage) seem to be conspiring against you in entirely new ways.
I want to give a shout-out to all the moms out there who are navigating this new layer of anxiety. I know your pain. Six years ago, when the world shut down, our lives came to a halt. The term “mental load” took on a different meaning. Before all this, I was finally learning to take things off my plate. I had let go of clashing outfits and embraced the microwave dinner.
But then the headlines changed. Now, the unmanageable part isn’t just a virus; it’s the hyper-vigilance. Is that dust? Should I be wearing a mask to clean the shed? Was that a mouse? Every time I feel like I get my bearings, the “list” changes.
We moved cross-country during a pandemic. We quarantined in Airbnbs and visited schools from parking lots. Looking back, I can’t believe we pulled it off. Being forced to be less cautious than I would have chosen has somehow made me “resilient,” but it has also made me tired.
So, if you’re feeling that deep-seated anxiety or the physical manifestation of stress—like the night terrors or the constant “brain fog”—know that you aren’t alone. We are all just trying to build a blueprint for a world that won’t stop shifting under our feet.
Anyways, what was I saying?
Need support navigating the mental load?
Be Well Therapy Collective offers virtual therapy in California and Arizona, specializing in maternal mental health, anxiety, and relationship transitions.
